This Reality…
“I wonder with eyes closed so tight,
is this a dream I will awake in;
losing you to the imagination of my mind.
Are you just a mere illusion,
or is my life making sense?
Is it you I cry over,
is it you that keeps me from sleep,
or is it my mind fooling me yet again?
If this a dream, I dare not awake,
I dare not lose my first love,
lost to the depths of my mind.”
This is a poem I wrote about ten years ago, when I was 16. Even back then I was curious of our so called “reality”. I didn’t get it at the time of course, those feelings only confused me and I could never understand my own thought process. I had a hard time distinguishing reality from perception. Maybe reality and perception are the same thing. Maybe there is no distinguishing factor. My reality is different than your perception and my perception is different than your reality. I think that’s what intrigues me the most about non representational artwork. You can get lost in it. Not lost and confused, but lost in an encompassing and engrossing way. The way the room and frame melts away and you’re left with only paint, canvas and yourself. There’s no wrong answer. There’s no right answer. There’s no answers at all! Why does there always have to be an answer or a reason? It’s incredibly bizarre, but it makes me feel secure. I find comfort in the unknown. I find comfort in knowing that not all things can be explained. They don’t have to be! Why are we afraid of what we don’t know and doesn’t have a direct impact on us? We won’t cease to exist without answers.
The first project I completed after “Conformity” was “Skyline.” Talk about contrast. I think I was successful in shaking up my creativity, well, at least on the right path towards it. Maybe that’s the significance in “Skyline.” We each have our own paths in life. I’m not talking explicitly spiritual or moral or anything. But, more along the lines of what type of person do you want to be, what are your passions, your love, what do you want to get out of life? Who’s to say who’s right and who’s wrong?
And gathering from “Skyline”, my goal in life is to take some path that leads me through the clouds and begin shattering the entire sky any which way I can.
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